Monday, June 17, 2013

Still Being Ware of The Blob!

By - Steve Mezo

If you haven't seen any of The Blob movies yet there's quite a few spoilers in this one.

I'd have to say from 1974 to 1977 Christopher Lee's Dracula was the monster that I feared the most.

But when I saw the 1958 version of "THE BLOB" on the late night movie back in 1977, Mr. Lee's Dracula lost that spot.

And that was because if that (I'm guessing) acidic glob of goo got a hold of you, you were on the menu with nowhere to go. 

From the second I saw that poor old dude poke at it with a stick I knew that this was a whole new kind of monster to be very afraid of.

I think I cringed so bad that I almost compressed my spine seeing this scene for the first time.

Of course you're going to say "How could you be worried about it?  One word dude, COLD!" But I'd have to respond with "Only extreme cold and it would have to be readily available and in abundance".

So unless you had a huge backpack style CO2 fire extinguisher, driving a refrigerated truck that you could climb into the back of quick, staying at The Overlook Hotel in the middle of Winter, had Sub Zero's power or sporting Mr. Freeze's gear... You're going to see how THE BLOB works from the inside.   

And it just completely freaked me out that it had the ability to go anywhere! And don't even get me started on the poor projectionist getting eaten head first!!!


But just when I thought The Blob was completely unstoppable and absolutely freaked out by it 
Steve McQueen just handheld it like a dude and froze it solid with a bunch of people from town.

And then air dropped it somewhere in the frozen tundras of Alaska.

 So I was happy and fear free of The Blob for a while. Even the sneaky question mark after "THE END" couldn't shake me. I mean how was it ever going to leave there?

Well unknown to me back then, in 1972 Larry Hagman had an Alaskan Pipeline Worker bring it home!
"That's right kid just for you!"

First I have to see a poor kitten become one of it's victims

then just when it looks like it's frozen again somebody screws up...
This is when the news crew spotlight fell accidentally thawing out part of The Blob, if it ate the Sheriff and kept going or was refrozen who knows.

Quite a few years went by after that, and outside of seeing "The Talking Blob" in CRACKED MAGAZINE
I didn't see much about him. 

 Then in 1988 my friend Shawn Reich and I went to the movie theater and saw this...
Instead of The Blob being just a random gelatinous space creature that came from a meteorite, Chuck Russell had to reinvent it.
He made it meaner, hungrier and smarter as it evolved like crazy. And this was because a Government Scientist created it in a laboratory and hoped that exposure to cosmic radiation would somehow improve on it. Then he could give it a field test capture it and somehow create a manageable Bio Weapon. 

Well just like the times they thought Xenophobes, Werewolves and Zombies would behave and do... they didn't.   

And then Chuck had to give me this great uneasy feeling every time I have to unclog a drain in the sink. 

No lie, I freaked out when The Blob liquified that poor guys head!

Luckily we had (Totally 80's) Kevin Dillon to save us all.

  And he did a good job too, he got the girl and froze The Blob.

But that happiness of mine was short lived because of that scarred up Priest turning into a traveling Reverend. And keeping part of The Blob with himself for when he decides The End should happen...

 So to answer the question of "What Horror Movie Monster would you not want to go up against in real life?"

It will always be "THE BLOB".